My life changed so much within this few months.
It won't be the same anymore, does anyone understand the feeling of losing your loved ones?
Losing them at unexpected moment.
Honestly, i never ever thought that they would leave me, not even once.
I may look alright, but deep down inside my heart it just hurt so much but i didnt want to show it.
However, this is life, we still must accept people come and go as and when they like easily.
You must remember to cherish everything you have now before you lose it.
Happiness won't last forever.
I'm really afraid to be happy right now,
as i know that the happier you are, the harder you will fall the next minute.
No one know that i'm still missing my dad so much.
Can you ever imagine, someone with you for all your 17years, someone you were so close with when you're young, lying in the coffin?
The moment you know he will be gone forever. The moment you saw the pale face. The moment you send him to cremate. The moment you know he won't come back home anymore.
I really never thought i would experience it at this young age.
I didn't expect it, he just cooked tang yuan for me a few days before he's gone,
he just came into my room during midnight to check whether i'm asleep before the day before he's gone, i just helped him massage his aching shoulder a few days before he's gone.
Everything just happened so suddenly, he have no illness at all.
Till now, i still can't seem to accept the fact.
Yes, i used to hate him for some personal reason, but without him, it just feel so empty when i'm home, the family is incomplete without him around.
The moment you saw your mum sobbing and you feel so helpless, as you can't console her and make her feel better, at that point of time your heart will be aching badly.
All you can do, is just to give her a hug, you can't say much.
As the eldest in the family, you just need to be stronger than anyone else.
I'm lucky to have friends around me to support me and be there for me throughout the difficult times.
I really appreciate every message of encouragement so much, you know who you are!!

Lastly, it's 21/1 today, Happy birthday dad!!!
Hope you're adapting well up there. May you rest in peace.
You will always live in our hearts and we won't forget you.
Thank you for taking care of me for 17 years, i know a thank you is never never enough... I'm sorry. I've never told you this before, I love you.